::tadabbur::

Tatkala membuka mushaf terjemahan Al-Quran, terselak ke halaman  335-336. Dengan perasaan yang tidak tenteram, dua muka itu dibaca dengan terjemahannya sekali :


Allah beri peringatan pada ayat pertama lagi!

"Dan mereka diberi petunjuk kepada ucapan-ucapan yang baik, dan mereka dipimpin kepada jalan yang terpuji"  (Al-Hajj; 22:24) 

Bacaan diteruskan, lantas dengan perasaan yang bercampur baur itu, dan :

(Beribadahlah) Dengan ikhlas kepada Allah, tidak mempersekutukan sesuatu dengan Dia (Allah). Sesiapa mempersekutukan sesuatu dengan Allah, maka adalah dia seolah-olah jatuh dari langit, lalu disambar oleh burung, atau diterbangkan angin ke tempat yang jauh.   

Demikianlah. Dan sesiapa mengagungkan syiar-syiar Allah, maka sesungguhnya itu timbul dari ketakwaan hati.    

Bagi kamu (binatang-binatang ternak) itu ada beberapa manfaat, sampai kepada waktu yang ditentukan, kemudian tempat (sembelihan)nya ialah (setelah) sampai di rumah tua itu.  

Dan bagi tiap-tiap umat Kami (Allah) tentukan (syariatkan) cara peribadatan, supaya mereka menyebut nama Allah atas apa yang Dia (Allah) rezekikan kepada mereka daripada binatang-binatang ternak. Maka Ilah (Tuhan)mu ialah Ilah (Tuhan) al-Wahid (Yang Maha Esa), dan aslim (berserah dirilah kamu) kepada-Nya (kepada Allah). Dan berilah khabar gembira kepada orang yang tunduk patuh.   

(Iaitu) orang yang apabila disebut Allah, gementarlah hati mereka, orang yang bersabar terhadap apa yang menimpa mereka, dan mereka mendirikan solat, dan menafkahkan sebahagian daripada apa yang Kami (Allah) rezekikan kepada mereka.   (Al-Hajj; 22:31-35) 

Tatkala ini, terasa: "layakkah aku mempersoalkan sedangkan tidak setiap masa aku menjadi orang yang tunduk patuh?"


Lalu Allah akhiri dua muka itu dengan ayat ini :

"Sesungguhnya Allah akan membela orang yang beriman. Sesungguhnya Allah tidak menyukai tiap-tiap orang yang berkhianat lagi kufur"    (Al-Hajj; 22:38)

Terasa macam Allah sedang berbicara dengan diri ini dengan cara yang sangat halus. Allah mula dengan menyedarkan nikmat Iman dan Islam yang dimiliki, walaupun pada saat itu, terasa seluruh dunia sedang runtuh di depan mata, terasa seolah-olah tiada harapan dan kekuatan untuk memulakan kembali langkah.


Allah sambung dengan sifat-sifat orang yang memiliki Iman dan Islam sebenar-benarnya. Refleksi diri. "Allah, jauhnya aku dari semua sifat-sifat itu. "


Dan Allah akhiri dengan ayat penutup yang sangat memberi kesan - Allah membela orang beriman, namun Allah tidak menyukai orang yang berkhianat dan kufur. "Allah. Adakah aku mensyukuri nikmat-nikmatNya, atau aku termasuk dari kalangan hamba-Nya yang kufur nikmat? "




Soalan yang diri sendiri mempunyai jawapannya. Kerana hanya diri yang mengetahui amalan-amalan di saat memperoleh nikmat dariNya.

::Topsy Turvy::

Warning: This post is just my expression of feeling, might not be beneficial for you, so if you hate reading things like this, might be worth to save the time..

It's been a while since i write.. need some getaway from everything...


the truth is, everything has been jumbled-up, topsy turvy that I can't even begin to straighten it up.. Don't know where to begin..


I once think about this, Allah will give you test where you can actually endure, and somebody once told me, that He will call you to Him at your best state, where if He lets you a lil' while longer wandering around in this world, you might become more astray from Him.. and if that's the case, then why is it that I think I am getting worse and even far away from Him day by day??


I can't stop thinking of that, ever since I was out of college life... Can't get that question out of my head..


Now I think I might know why.. After being struck by something I can't imagine, something I can't seems to accept up until now, I think i know why.. Every single things that had happened to me was to test what I have been saying all this time.. Yes, I might had felt that I believe strongly to every single principles in Islam; the concept of tawakkal, the concept of Him decides, and many more concepts that every single time, I would be mentioning to someone, or even to myself.. and to be honest, me myself believe that I believe in those with all my heart..sound confusing? well, it does isn't it.. I believe it myself.. but now, being in a big mess like this, i starts to wonder, did I really believe that everything happens for a reason, and that everything has it's silver lining? or am I doubting that? Who am I blaming when I can't seems to accept it? Was is me? or not?


Still in a state of trying to accept it, but then, patience is at the 1st blow; (Riyadhus Salihin, Chapter 3: Patience), so I don't know where that puts me..


Well, I don't think my babbling did answered my question up there,did it? but ,what i think of the question was, what i come up with that can be accepted by my mind was, when I first learnt all the concepts, I believed in them, or so I thought. But believing is the easy thing to do.. putting them into practicality was the hard part.. Yes, I might had known the concepts for ages, for maybe, as long as I breathe in this world, but then, having to hold on to it while something went wrong or not as you expected to be was the tricky part.. and that was why Allah gave me all those things, things I called mess just now..Things I don't know how to straighten, how to sort out... Just to let me know, believing is just not enough when these are the things I need to practice in my whole life...things that are not supposed to be separated from me when,let say I am deciding what i want to do for the next 5 years of my life, as it might not come up as what I had planned..


And that was the best state for me when I say Islam is my Deen, I might think I am at the best state of my Iman back then when all I did was listen and believe, not even tested whether I firmly hold on to it when hardship come..and now, I know well whether I am just saying it, or believing it dearly that it becomes my action..


Well, enough babble for one entry.. Back to sorting things out..

::Anak kucing itu::

Baru lepas main dengan 'Buang' ; anak kucing yang baru je beberapa bulan berada di rumah ni. Kerana dibuang oleh manusia lain dengan kemasnya di dalam kotak di hadapan rumah, mama dan abah pun jaga, bagi minum susu dan bela. Seriously, anak kucing yang masih menyusu, dipisahkan daripada ibunya. Kalau tidak dibantu, akan mati begitu sahaja. Nak marah pun, kalau difikirkan manusia zaman sekarang, anak sendiri pun boleh buang, inikan pulak anak kucing kan.

Seronok bermain dengan dia, tetibe terfikir kata-kata abah masa keluar panggil Buang. Sebenarnya dah malam, dah pukul 930 mlm macam tu, keluar pastu panggil dia, abah kata Buang tengah tidur kot. Balas pada abah, takpelah, nak main dengan dia kejap.

Panggil punya panggil, Buang pun muncul dari bawah kereta, sambil menguap-nguap. Betul tekaan abah, dia dah tidur sebenarnya. Dengan rasa bersalah kerana mengejutkan dia, mainlah dengan dia sampai dia penat.

Sebenarnya kenapa nak cerita pasal anak kucing bernama 'Buang' ni?? Hmm, cuba kita fikir, adakah sifat kehambaan kita setanding dengan sifat anak kucing ni? Walau apa pun dia tengah buat, tengah tidur, berehat-rehat, kalau sesiapa antara kami sekeluarga panggil, dia pasti datang. Tak kira waktu apa pun dia buat pada masa itu. Betapa hebatnya ketaatan dia, kesetiaan dia. Dan kita, adakah kita bersikap dengan sikap seperti ini kepada 'Tuan' kita, Pemilik mutlak segala yang ada di bumi dan di langit, bahkan apa yang ada di antaranya juga. Apabila seruan memanggil kita menghadap kepadaNya, adakah kita datang tepat pada masanya, atau kita berlengah-lengah memenuhi keperluan kita , keinginan kita terlebih dahulu?

Allah..

Peringatan yang hebat di kala semakin lalai di rumah, walaupun hanya baru 11 hari berada di rumah, namun bila diuji dengan masa lapang, terus lalai dan leka dengan semua tanggungjawab yang masih belum selesai..

Ya Allah, kuatkanlah aku untuk terus mujahadah dan istiqamah, ameen

p/s: nak masukkan gambar tapi xberjaya, maaf ye..

::ni'mah::

A few days after touch down in Malaysia, can't really say how much i missed the weather, the air, and definitely the people. Well, as I was writing this, it's been one week since the day I arrived back to my home country.

Last Friday, I had this minor operation called cross-linking. An operation in which the epithelium of the eye was removed bla-bla-bla. For people who likes to know more, here are some links for you to watch the video (click here) and some more information for you to read on (click here). It's not that scary i think, but for anybody who can't stand gross things, better not to click on those links, especially the video one (>_<)

Well, I don't really like to write on what I've experienced, but here, I think I would like to share what I was thinking through out the procedure.

The thing about this procedure was, I was aware that my cornea was being scrapped out using the knife. I can actually see the knife ( I also don't know what it was called in medical term) through my eye as it scrapped out the epithelium of my cornea (i just learned from the doctor that cornea has epithelium). And even though i was given some pain killer, I can feel the pain as if my skin was being scratched, not that painful, something i can't bare with, but still, it was kinda painful. Let's just say, if I have the choice, I wouldn't want to go through that again.

Through out the procedure, I keep on thinking, how sight is one of the greatest gift that Allah bestowed to us, human, and He can actually take that from us, anytime that He likes. And for that ni'mah alone, even if we  worship Him through out our life, doing nothing and just pray all the time in our lives, and only submit to Him, we can never repay that ni'mah alone.  While through out all our lives, we get more than just sight and if we want to count our blessings since the day  we were born, we can never manage to stop listing until we die.

That was what i occupied my mind with to distract  myself from thinking too much of the knife that was actually having its way in my eye. The feeling was as if you are looking at a window that was being cleaned by something; but that window was in fact your eye. A bit funny to put it that way, but humor help to reduced the tension, inshaAllah. And Alhamdulillah, He gave me strength to think it that way, that i manage to keep calm all the way through.

And there was one more thing that i thought about while this procedure was on. I mentioned earlier that i felt the pain when the knife scrapped my cornea. I did, it was kinda like, you skin being scratched by a knife, just that , the pain was more bearable, maybe due to the pain killer pill that was given to me before the procedure. But, it occurs to me, how the sahabah was being tortured, one of the phrase come to me at that time, 'orang sebelum kamu disikat dengan sikat besi' (translation: people before you was being combed with iron comb)

Imam Bukhari rahmatullah telah meriwayatkan dari Qais berkata:

“Aku telah mendengar Khabab r.a. berkata: Aku telah mendatangi Rasulullah saw. sedang baginda berbantalkan burdadi di bawah naungan Ka’bah. Ketika itu kami sedang menerima penyiksaan yang keras dari kaum musyrikin, lalu dia berkata: Tidak maukah kamu berdoa kepada Allah? Lalu Rasulullah saw. duduk dengan merah padam mukanya lantas bersabda: Sesungguhnya telah terjadi kepada orang-orang sebelum kamu siksaan, di antara mereka ada yang disikat dengan sikat-sikat besi yang mencakar-cakar daging-daging dan urat-urat mereka hingga ke tulang-tulang mereka. Itu tidak memalingkan mereka dari agama mereka. Kepala mereka digergaji hingga terbelah dua. Ini tidak memalingkan mereka dari agama mereka. Satu masa nanti, pasti Allah akan menyempurnakan urusan agama ini dengan memberi kemenangan di mana orang yang menunggang itu berjalan dari San'a di Yaman ke Hadramaut tanpa rasa takut kecuali hanya kepada Allah dan hanya khawatir dengan serangan serigala ke kambing-kambing mereka. Tetapi, kamu ini ingin meraih kemenangan dengan segera."

This was what come to my mind, at least, this pain i was experiencing was for my benefits, for myself only. How can i complain?? The sahabah experienced more pain while doing da'wa, upholding Islam and spreading the syahadah. How can i not be able to stand this pain and want to be in this path; the path of upholding Islam, spreading the articles of faith, the syahadah? Allah..Make me istiqamah in improving myself to make me worthy to be in this path, ameen..


Alhamdulillah. With that in mind, the pain seems distance even though the knife was actually right in front of my eye. Well, literally in front, i didn't lie.. ^_^ 

::When I Fall in love::

Have you ever fall in love??  I know i did... Yes, i did....

The first time i was introduced back to Islam, i fell in love with all that was with it.... everything that came together with it, inshaAllah...

and He granted me with the feeling of loving somebody, inshaAllah for His sake, that my heart ached in the thought of being separated with that loved ones...

source: http://withyonu.blogspot.com

but.....

back in these few weeks time, again He taught me something so precious, that I hope, by His will, inshaAllah, I will remember forever in my life....

sometimes, loving means forgiving, like how our prophet Muhammad saw taught us... 

sometimes, loving means accepting, like how Islam taught us... 

sometimes, loving means wanting what is best for our loved ones... and become selfless like what the sahabah taught us...

and to love someone is to see that someone happy; in this life, and in the hereafter...

and sometimes, you are just not the one destined by Allah to be that somebody who fulfill all her rights, to be by her side, to make her smile... and if you truly love her, and wants what is best for her, you would let her go, to a better hand, to make her happy and to make up for all the things that you cannot give to her....

and......in these few weeks time, i learnt that, while i was saying i love somebody very much, the truth was, i didn't love her enough to be wanting what was the best for her....

instead, i just kept her with me to keep myself breathing...and in doing so, i didn't realized that i was hurting her, suffocating her...

yet, I thanked Allah for this precious lesson... for all the feelings that He had gave me...for all the memories that He had granted me with... and hopefully, in loving people in the future, i will not repeat the same mistake, again, inshaAllah...

"Cintailah orang yang engkau cintai seberapa ringan yang boleh kerana boleh jadi pada suatu hari kelak dia akan menjadi orang yang engkau benci dan bencilah orang yang engkau benci seberapa ringan yang boleh kerana boleh jadi pada suatu hari kelak dia akan menjadi orang yang engkau cintai".   

[Saidina Ali Bin Abi Talib] 

Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit   

[Peter Ustinov]

Jom fikir!

source : http://ninatinkerbella.blogspot.com/

Terfikir satu soalan masa mem'bedah' buku Petunjuk Sepanjang Jalan/Ma'alim Fi At-Toriq/Milestone oleh Syed Qutb.

Adakah Al-Quran itu untuk dikaji semata-mata?

Jawab, jawab, jangan tak jawab...

(p/s: nak tulis lagi panjang, tapi exam menanti Isnin ni, so tggu lepas exam la ye, inshaAllah.. please make do'a for me, for I survive all this while through the do'a made by others! jazakumullahu khayr)

. 

Niat dan harapan

Sebenarnya, kenapa aku berusaha?
Kenapa aku sangat takut bila tak sempat nak habiskan lecture notes semua?
kat mana sebenarnya aku sandarkan keputusan aku?

Ya Allah, tiba-tiba hari ini aku tersedar balik benda penting yang sering aku lafazkan dulu. Kenapa aku sering risau masa aku bertungkus-lumus menghabiskan lecture notes sekarang? Sebab aku meyakini bahawa hasil yang aku dapat akan mereflek nota yang aku baca. Astaghfirullah....

Sedangkan yang tentukan keputusan itu bukan usaha aku, tapi Pencipta aku.,Allah yang tentukan apa yang bakal aku dapat..Dan aku hanya ditaklifkan untuk berusaha...

Ya Allah..dalam tidak sedar aku telah membelakangkan-Mu.. aku mohon keampunan di atas kelalaian aku ini ya Allah, dan aku mohon kemudahan untuk aku menjawab soalan..Berilah aku keputusan yang terbaik di sisi-Mu, ameen