Sunday, December 19, 2010


Never in my life i felt so unprepared, not fully covered, if anything might happen. I never felt like this throughout my entire life as i was always sheltered by my family and friends. I know i always have them to turn to if anything major happens. But i know, time passed by, and i am 'almost adult'. Even though people keep on saying to me to grow up some more; physically, in term of height and in term of age. (some things just could not be done by people of 'young age'. as they might say). But i know, as i leave my home somewhat 3 months ago, i told myself not to worry my mom and dad anymore with anything. I am going to support my life and if possible, try to give them some support as well, in anyway i can.

I know, i always told myself, i have Allah by my side all the way through out my life. But, my dependence always been to people around me first despite what my mouth uttered. But, i am away from those people. Miles away. Now, the challenges really begins. I always considered myself as a prepared person in any situation, but He knows best. He really wants me to get a grip of what i had being saying throughout my "new life" when i first being re-introduced to HIM. 

He did say that He will test us, human with two things; property and our own selves. 

 لَتُبۡلَوُنَّ فِىٓ أَمۡوَٲلِڪُمۡ وَأَنفُسِڪُمۡ وَلَتَسۡمَعُنَّ مِنَ ٱلَّذِينَ أُوتُواْ ٱلۡكِتَـٰبَ مِن قَبۡلِڪُمۡ وَمِنَ ٱلَّذِينَ أَشۡرَكُوٓاْ أَذً۬ى كَثِيرً۬ا‌ۚ وَإِن تَصۡبِرُواْ وَتَتَّقُواْ فَإِنَّ ذَٲلِكَ مِنۡ عَزۡمِ ٱلۡأُمُورِ (١٨٦
Assuredly ye will be tried in your property and in your persons, and ye will hear much wrong from those who were given the Scripture before you, and from the idolaters. But if ye persevere and ward off (evil), then that is of the steadfast heart of things.
 (Ali Imran; 3:186)

But, He gave His assurance that despite anything that we encounter, He is just testing us to see how true we are to HIM. 
أَحَسِبَ ٱلنَّاسُ أَن يُتۡرَكُوٓاْ أَن يَقُولُوٓاْ ءَامَنَّا وَهُمۡ لَا يُفۡتَنُونَ (٢) وَلَقَدۡ فَتَنَّا ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبۡلِهِمۡ‌ۖ فَلَيَعۡلَمَنَّ ٱللَّهُ ٱلَّذِينَ صَدَقُواْ وَلَيَعۡلَمَنَّ ٱلۡكَـٰذِبِينَ (٣
Do men imagine that they will be left (at ease) because they say, We believe, and will not be tested with affliction? (2)Lo! We tested those who were before them. Thus Allah knoweth those who are sincere, and knoweth those who feign.
(Al-ankabut; 29:2-3)

And He will always be there for us in the time of need, and listen to our prayer. So, turn to HIM anytime, anywhere.

أَمَّن يُجِيبُ ٱلۡمُضۡطَرَّ إِذَا دَعَاهُ وَيَكۡشِفُ ٱلسُّوٓءَ وَيَجۡعَلُڪُمۡ خُلَفَآءَ ٱلۡأَرۡضِ‌ۗ أَءِلَـٰهٌ۬ مَّعَ ٱللَّهِ‌ۚ قَلِيلاً۬ مَّا تَذَڪَّرُونَ (٦٢
Is not He (best) Who answereth the wronged one when he crieth unto Him and removeth the evil, and hath made you viceroys of the earth? Is there any God beside Allah? Little do they reflect!

And finally, He rewards us for all the hardships that we might encounter in showing Him that we are true in our journey to search for His LOVE.

قَالَ ٱللَّهُ هَـٰذَا يَوۡمُ يَنفَعُ ٱلصَّـٰدِقِينَ صِدۡقُهُمۡ‌ۚ لَهُمۡ جَنَّـٰتٌ۬ تَجۡرِى مِن تَحۡتِهَا
 ٱلۡأَنۡهَـٰرُ خَـٰلِدِينَ فِيہَآ أَبَدً۬ا‌ۚ رَّضِىَ ٱللَّهُ عَنۡہُمۡ وَرَضُواْ عَنۡهُ‌ۚ ذَٲلِكَ ٱلۡفَوۡزُ ٱلۡعَظِيمُ (١١٩) لِلَّهِ مُلۡكُ ٱلسَّمَـٰوَٲتِ وَٱلۡأَرۡضِ وَمَا فِيہِنَّ‌ۚ وَهُوَ عَلَىٰ كُلِّ شَىۡءٍ۬ قَدِيرُۢ (١٢٠
Allah saith: This is a day in which their truthfulness profiteth the truthful, for theirs are Gardens underneath which rivers flow, wherein they are secure for ever, Allah taking pleasure in them and they in Him. That is the great triumph. (119) Unto Allah belongeth the Sovereignty of the heavens and the earth and whatsoever is therein, and He is Able to do all things.
 (Al-Maidah; 5:120)

Even though i am writing this with all the Quranic verses (ayah), but i am still digesting it to make HIS presence a part of my life, naturally, as how it supposed to be. To feel that He is always there for me to turn to, and to feel that every obstacles that He sets for me is just to make me closer to HIM, to make me realised that He is watching me all the time.

This time, His obstacle really "slapped" me hard  on the face: not to LOVE Dunya (this world) so much as nothing is permanently mine in this world. 

Remembering that everything is HIS and He can take it away from us anytime He wants to; just makes me  ponder on how much am I using the nikmah He gave in serving Him and the humankind

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