Saturday, February 26, 2011


I thought i would never be tested with that kind of test,
but i did wonder how it feels,
I guess He answered my heart without me realising it,
and I know there will always be good things out of this,
in this world maybe, or in the hereafter, inshaAllah~

O' Allah, hear my do'a and lend me Your strength, as i can't really go on without You by my side, ameen~

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


She didn't know. She called and called but that person was always busy doing something. She knew it was for the good of mankind, for the sake of the ummah, therefore she forced herself to understand, to accept that the roads in front of them were no longer the same. They would not be carving the same path towards their ultimate goal; Allah,  but they would be heading the same direction, inshaAllah. With that knowledge in mind, it ease her a bit. 

But, that did not mean that she would just forget about 'her'. Not able to hear 'her' voice hurts her feeling. Therefore, she called again, but this time, it wasn't ringing. It was switched off. Now what? What was her to do? She knew that 'she' was somehow okay, cause at least she was able to contact 'her'. At the very least, 'her' phone was ringing, she can afford to assume that 'she' was praying, or driving, or even eating. Anything would do to comfort her heart. And now, how was she supposed to really be sure of that. How can a heart be at ease? 

With that, she took another alternative to find out what was happening to 'her'. And it was as what she thought it might be. Silently, a prayer was sent from afar, asking Allah to help, protect and strengthen 'her', for He is the best trustee of all affair. Ameen~

*     *     *     *

Dearest to my heart, my princess, my love,

Sorry for not being able to be by your side all this while, sorry for not giving you the rights of ukhuwwah you deserve, sorry for not being sensitive enough to feel the burden that you are carrying, and i know sorry is not enough to begin with. I know you are strong and i know you can go through this. My love will always be sent to you from this land, and i really hope to see your smile once again, inshaAllah someday~

Monday, February 14, 2011

::it's been a while::

People says Allah tests the one that He loves,
I used to say that to people around me,
but sometimes I forget that as well,
but sometimes I feel that I can't take it any more,
and sometimes tears were just flowing out without me asking them to.

It's been quite sometimes, I'm here in this new place,
It's been quite sometimes, that I have experienced a lot of things I wouldn't imagine to do,
But sometimes, I forget why I do those things,
But sometimes, I get frustrated for not achieving things I expect to achieved based on my efforts and my intentions,
and sometimes I forget that it is His right to decide what I get as a result of my efforts, not mine to choose.

Thank you Allah for those reminders,
Thank you for reminding me to mind those 'simple' things that might be seen as small and unimportant,
Thank you Allah for this feelings,
Thank you for giving me the feeling of in need of You,
Thank you for the strength that You gave me to go through all those rocky paths,
Thank you for the ukhuwwah that I have all this times,
and also,
Thank you Allah for everything that You had given me all this while.


Monday, February 7, 2011

::Reminder of the Heart::

Narrated 'Umar bin Al-Khattab:I heard Allah's Apostle saying, "The reward of deeds depends upon the intentions and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended. So whoever emigrated for worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration was for what he emigrated for."
(Bukhari :: Book 1 :: Volume 1 :: Hadith 1) 

That incident was last week's, but still remained as a fresh memory in her mind. As if, she could not let it go, even when everything was supposed to be settled. She wanted to let it go, but couldn't. And today, a reminder from Him yet again, to remind her of her true intention.

Why was she angry in the first place? Was it because of Allah? If so, He had fixed everything now. Why did she still feel that anger deep inside her heart? What was the reason now? Allah or her own self; her nafs? 

Yes, first intention can be for good but it can be diverted within the course of obtaining one's goal. We usually intend to do good, but as we encounter an obstacle that challenges us mentally and physically, we might divert our intention purely to satisfy ourselves, and our ego. It might sound a bit of a small matter, but syaitan can mislead us in things we are not aware of.

With that in her mind, she took a deep breath and rethink of her actions and intention. Yes, she was indulged in her own emotion for too long of a time. It's time to let things go and start over again. Saidina Ali karamallahu wajhah, after being spit at,  stop himself from killing someone in a battle field, fear of killing not for the sake of Allah but for the anger that he felt. That was in battle field, battling the enemy of Allah and His prophet saw, it was even a clear cut situation where the differences between the two parties were obvious. Her situation was just a small insignificant one when being compared side by side with that seerah. 

So the right thing for her to do now is to let things go and starts fresh. People do make mistakes, because sometimes people did not realise it. It is the duty of anybody who are aware of the mistakes to correct it; amar ma'aruf nahi munkar. Correcting not to show supremacy but because of the love that we have for each other. Correcting with the intention to see each other in Jannah and not to signify that we are better than the other people. Correcting without the intention to humiliate, but truly for the sake of Allah, Him and Him alone, inshaAllah.

"Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for the reminder that was sent,"she whispered slowly.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

::Clouds and Wind::

Searching for some strength to keep moving on, sometimes, things aren't just as we hoped it'd be, but there will always be a silver lining in every cloud that passes by, have faith that Allah is always by our side. Believing in Him makes things easier and bearable, inshaAllah..
Have faith that in every clouds that passes by, there will always be a silver lining with it. The sky will not forever be grey as the clouds are bound to be blown by the wind. He will not leave us in a state where we are not capable of reaching out to the open air, as He will always sends His helps in ways that we don't even imagine. Believe in Him, inshaAllah, and everything will be fine.
Alhamdulillah, the clouds had passed by, thank you Allah for the wind that You had sent. I can see the sunshine today, with that, and a smile, i'll start 'walking' once again~


“Hasbi Allahu wa ne’mal wakil.”
“Allah is sufficient for me and is the best trustee of affairs.”

Stages in my life~ 

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